BARBIE: This is Barbie Dollinsky --
GQ: -- And GQ Mann --
BARBIE: And we’ve got Breaking News about embattled presidential frontrunner Senator Ethan Bocker.
GQ: The conservative Senator is hoping to draw attention away from rumors racing across the internet about his relationship with Claire Prescott, his press secretary --
BARBIE: Former relationship with his former press secretary.
GQ: She’s been "reassigned".
BARBIE: What do you call someone who’s unfaithful to both his wife and mistress?
GQ: A politician?
BARBIE: According to Drudge, it isn’t only the “family values” Senator who’s been playing hooky from his marriage vows. Rumor has it that his wife Helen has been acting out Lady Chatterley with the gardener, Perry something.
GQ: Kinky. Heck of an example to be setting for their teenage son, Michael. Who (I read on Muckraker.com) has been filling in for Dad with the former press secretary.
BARBIE: My sources tell me Michael’s truly in love with Claire Prescott.
GQ: (Surprised, a little jealous) You have sources?
BARBIE: They also tell me Claire’s truly in love with Michael’s father, the Senator.
GQ: True love, it’s wonderful.